Sabnock’s Sermons: Idolatry

21 Sep

My dear son, Xaphan,

I was roaming random bookstores the other day, just to stay up with the culture, and came across an old book by one of their authors named C.S. Lewis. This book, “Screwtape Letters”, is a fictional work relating how onescrewtapelettersbook master demon wrote letters to his nephew in order to pass along the wealth of knowledge he had in attempting to defeat the enemy. While clearly a work of fiction (it didn’t end well for the two demons) there was still an element of insight to this man’s work. I have decided to make his work a reality and pen you e-mails imparting my knowledge and experience to you. Archive them, if you would, for posterity also. Just put it under “Sabnock’s Sermons” as I’m going to give you lessons on how I infiltrated the enemy camp and now have their pastors, teachers, and even the lay people preaching the propaganda of our master! Plus, “Sabnock’s Sermons” has a nice ring to it and reminds me of how I even have them hooked on alliteration as they think it makes their “message” more palatable to the listener, and those in the pew get mesmerized by that sort of fickle thing and seem to just accept any point as long as it started with the same letter as the last one. (These people are all too funny, as you’ll begin to see.) By doing this, I have been able to massively stunt the growth of professing Christians as well as ensure any prospective Jesus-follower is effectively turned off by religion of the Christian flavor. I’ve been able to not only keep people from entering the enemy camp, but also have convinced many to actually leave it!


If there’s one thing I’ve found, Xaphan, it’s that the most effective way to make these pathetic little Christians even more useless for their so-called-King is get those who are commissioned to teach their sacred word unknowlingly preaching the messages of our master, Lucifer. It wasn’t the easiest thing to initiate. It took me decades to find a way in. I met failure after failure until finally one day, while at counsel with our master, he suggested I try the same old trick he had used with God’s people in the past – idolatry. I didn’t get it at first. I explained that there was no way I was going to get God’s people to bow down to graven images as he had done in times past, but he finally gave me clarity on who to get them to fall. He helped me see that here is where it all starts – you gott’a get their eyes (even if ever so slightly) off their Jesus.

For starters: You get the people to idolize a preacher or teacher. Don’t pick the false ones as that’s obvious (false teachers have their place, but mostly just for backup, I’m about the big guns here). Pick one that is teaching what they would call “sound doctrine” for the most part. Get them to build a following around him. The people will begin to split off into factions over who they think is the better teacher. They will cause arguments over areas that other teachers may disagree on. The young men will begin to blindly imitate (down to the mannerisms even) of their favorite teacher and begin to teach as absolute, unwaverable truths the things that man only held loosely. Even though their idol didn’t necessarily hold all his own beliefs as fundamental to their faith, this new generation will elevate those beliefs as such out of “honor” for their idol. Oh! And the best part is that this plan cuts them on both sides! See, many times, when a teacher sees that he is being idolized (although he will act modest about it all) it goes to his head [NOTE: they younger the preacher the better]. He will begin to elevate his own preferences and stances on issues to be on par with their precious “gospel”. He will begin to think too highly of himself and even demand that people do things his way (I’ll revisit this in detail). The quickest way to bring truth down is to elevate lies to it’s equal; then no one will be able to tell the difference! You don’t have to get them to stop defending truth, just get them defending the wrong “truth”. That’s the key to all this. If you let that be your guiding principle, you’ll do well, my son.

This worked for me just splendidly! And this was the platform I used from which to launch all my other attacks. Now I practically have them eating out of my hand and they don’t even know it. I’ve got them so confused that when they do see any semblance of the real Jesus, they ostracize him and condemn him as a liberal heretic! hylesidolSometimes I even got them to build an image of the man they idolized, or to encase his suits, shoes, and marked up bible in a beautiful glass case (shrine) in his honor while still claiming to only worship their Jesus! It’s so astoundingly funny! I love my job, and you will too, if you just listen to the wisdom I’m passing along to you.

None can say it better than their precious book, “My son, attend unto my wisdom, and bow thine ear to my understanding:” and I’ll steer ya’ right! Until next time.


You’re Most successful father,



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