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Sabnock’s Sermons: Defending the “Faith”

23 Sep

My dear Xaphan,

I hope you have had time to meditate on the previous letter and attempted to implement it in your local jurisdiction. If you haven’t yet taken that initiative I expect you to do so by weeks end as you’ve already let one Sunday pass. Oh, and don’t tell your colleagues about these lessons just yet as it will give you an edge on them. I want to make sure Master recognizes MY SON above all your peers – trust me, it will be good for both of us.

Anyway, down to business as I don’t have much time today. I normally have more time on a Monday, but the local church is holding one of their week long “revival” services and I want to be there to make sure I can get the crowd stoked up when the guest speaker gets on one of his “pet peeve” doctrines; and from the look of their kjv_signsign, it shouldn’t be too difficult. Since it’s fresh on my mind, that’s what I’m going to advise you on today.

I mentioned previously that you don’t have to get them to stop defending truth, just get them defending the wrong “truth”. This is the difference between a demon who’s good at his job and one who is superb at it! There is one that has been extremely effective at the particular church I’m going to tonight – I call it the King James Only doctrine. Funny thing, I actually got the name to stick as they use it too! Here’s how it works:

First you take something they love, something they are either emotionally tied to or very comfortable with and you get them to slowly give their loyalty to it. In this case it was a translation of their sacred text.

Secondly: You having their pastors buy into the idea that this particular translation is THE one and to constantly reaffirm it from his pulpit. You would think they would figure out that it’s in English and not other languages, that it didn’t exist for the first 1600 years of their movement, etc.; but they don’t think about stuff like that. I don’t know if it’s because they’re Christians, Americans, or a bit of both, but this crowd seems to buy it hook, line, and sinker! Anyway, they elevate this translation to the point that they spend more time praising that book and how blessed they are to have that translation, and how they’ll never waver from that translation that they never talk about what’s in it. I get them so worked up in a frenzy over it (you should see the hanky waving, and whooping and hollering they do over this stuff) that when a preacher wants to get some recognition – they call it “Amening” – that he gets on this topic and does what they call “parker there a while”.

Thirdly.. and here’s where it gets good: you get them to defend it to the end. It’s not hard, just give them a nudge. This particular group is itching for something to “stand for”. Your uncle Wormwood had been working this crowd before I took it over and he had effectively instilled in them that if they weren’t constantly fighting against something they were losing. I just took the idea a step further and got one of their preachers to coin the cliche’, “If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything!” and gave him a little nudge to pull it out of context and go to seed on it. (In a later letter I’ll explain to you how I’ve trained them to do this so well, that they just do it on their own now. I don’t have to do anything. It just runs like a well oiled machine!) When they’re good and ready to fight over it you let a little truth in. They’re so use to calling a lie truth that when they see truth they attack it as a lie. It’s jolly good fun to watch too! In my case, other translations began to be printed; pretty dang good ones too, to my dismay, but no matter as it worked out to my good. You see, this group began to castigate their own brothers and sisters because they didn’t use the KJV. They began to hold conferences about how they needed to “stand by the stuff” and what not. They began to teach that if they couldn’t trust the KJV then they could trust God. I couldn’t believe it! I had actually done it! I had actually gotten them to idolize an erroneous translation (but convinced them there were no errors in it.. you’ll see why later) and put it on equal footing with their gospel and even their God. And to boot, I was keeping them from actually teaching what was in the book!

Next, I took a few of the “fervent faithful” and let them see the truth that their beloved translation did have some errors. Xaphan, a word of caution, be careful who you pick to let them see the truth. Make sure their ones who burn hot but have little fuel. See when they figure out they’ve been lied to, their entire faith will crumble as they placed it all on their precious translation and they’ll leave their King’s camp! I can’t tell you how many atheists I’ve recruited for the cause in this manner!

That’s it! Take something that isn’t bad, get them to elevate it to an ungodly (pun intended) height, get their teachers to build it up and place everything on that “sure” foundation, and then knock it down from every direction and watch them fall like the proverbial walls of Jericho. And if you’re really good, like me, then you will get those who don’t fall as they blindly hang on to the crumbling ruins (which you want some to do that so you can keep propagating the same lies… don’t worry, I’ll show you how to do this later too); these people actually place blame on others who are actually trying to help them out of the mess they’re in! Ah, good times, good times. I’ve watched so many fights over just this one issue, and seen so many who were seeking truth just throw in the towel right here as they just weren’t willing to wade through the mess to find answers… ah… good times those are.

Oh, I’d better go or I’m gonn’a be late for “revival”… HA! Funny how these people think they can schedule a revival! Anyway.. makes it easier for me to work them up into their “Amen frenzies”.

Until next time,

Sabnock

PS. don’t forget to implement what you’re learning.. and tell no one of these lessons until they’re completed… I may even try to sign a book deal when they’re done and convince Lucifer to use them as a training manual. I already have my photo for the jacket cover. What do you think?

Screwtape

 

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2 responses to “Sabnock’s Sermons: Defending the “Faith”

  1. Anthony Baker

    September 23, 2013 at 10:19 pm

    Nailed it.

     
  2. susanne430

    September 24, 2013 at 7:59 am

    Ha!

     

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